Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Pillow of Tears

Sunday night, I was afraid to go to sleep.  I was afraid I wouldn't wake up.  I have so much stress in my life right now.  I know my stress isn't as bad as some peoples, but it's a lot for me.  I got so worked up about everything that it caused me to cry, and then I got to crying so hard that I coudln't talk and could hardly breath.  Then I started feeling tingles in my left arm.  I was so afraid to lay down and go to sleep.  I prayed to god for hours that he would let me be ok.  So sometime a few hours later I woke up and it was dawn.  I made it through the night.  

I had a long talk with my husband and told him how my health had me so scared.  At age 31, the thought of a heart attack shouldn't cross your mind.  So I got online and started doing some research on warning signs, and small changes that I can start making to get healthier.  I know diet is the best answer, however, I wanted to also find more information on things that especially benefit the heart.  I will be posting an article on some foods that are heart beneficial later today.

So, you may be asking, "what's got her so stressed?"  I'll answer. The main reason is Money and how I'm going to take care of things.
My unemployment runs out in 2 weeks and I didn't have a job
I wasn't smart enough to save the unemployment checks when they came in
My mother reminds me of this almost daily
Money for Vacation
I wasn't smart enough to not use credit cards, so i have charged them up again.
The Weather, cold, cloudy, rainy and snowy for the past 5 months
Money for Taxes
Job Searching & Interviewing has got me emotionally drained
My husband hates his job
I can't keep the house clean or find the motivation
and money.

However, It's a new day and the sun is out!  It can only get better from here!


Trish said...

Girl, I feel ya. Many times I've prayed for God to just not let me die. I know exactly what you're going through, and it's scary.

I recently ran across a post on someone's diet blog that really made a huge impact on me and maybe it will help you too.


Tonya said...

Wow, thank you so much for sharing this with me. Do you have a blog?

Trish said...

I used to, but it's been quite awhile. I gave it up because I felt like I was spending too much time on the computer and not enough with the kiddo. It seems like I do a better job of balancing things these days and I've been thinking about starting one up again. It was fun and I miss it!