I am a strong supporter of adoptions. I've adopted all of my animals and yes, even my husband. :) My friend recently was able to make a family's dreams come true by having them adopt her newborn. One of my long time friends is adopted and was able to meet his biological mother on a talk show. He simply registered on a website and the two were connected.
I wish it were that easy for my husband. It seems like we are fighting an up hill battle against 100 mph winds. For most "adoption search" websites to work, both parties have to be looking for each other and register on the site. We've registered on numerous sites and paid their monthly fee's and have came up empty each time. What makes our search even more painful for us... my husband's aunt worked with his biological grandma, and doesn't remember very much information... again this was 32 years ago. Over the years, cousins, aunts and uncles slowly forget that valuable information.
My husband has tried once on his own, just to have a judge tell him no. :(
So...my husband and I knew this wouldn't be an easy journey for us... but i like challenges. I've spent many hours researching adoption search firms and websites. I've looked into hiring a search firm, just to have them quote us $5,000. $5,000!!! I'm not ready to give up that easy! Like I said earlier, the websites have not worked out in our favor.. yet! I still have my fingers crossed. I've made countless phone calls and emails to the Judicial System of Norman Oklahoma (the birth city) and Houston Texas (the adoption city). Oklahoma says Texas has the adoption records... Texas tells us Oklahoma has the records... We've paid money to have records and case numbers researched for us, just to have the records come back confidential. We've made a trip to Oklahoma and was simply told they don't have the records and to try "this place". So we try "this place" just to have them tell us to try "that place". It was just the run around. It was starting to seem like no one knows the answer, no one cares enough to try and find the answers and the easiest answer of them all was to keep passing us around and giving us the run around. When we got back from Oklahoma, I've called every place they told us to call and I FINALLY found one woman nice enough to try and help us out! She didn't tell us to try "this place" or "that place", she simply made a suggestion on how to find the attorney's that handled the cases. With her information we were able to track down my husband's adoption attorney from 1978! And it gets better... she is still practicing law! Danny put a call into her and we followed some tips that she gave us (we already looked into the Houston courts and were declined) but now we have a sliver of hope and can take a giant leap forward in this process!
I've left a message for the attorney this morning asking for further advice and to see if we can hire her to get those records. I'm so anxious to see where this takes us! It would answer so many questions for my husband. He thinks it would be cool to meet his biological mother, however he said he understands if she doesn't want too. His main purpose of this search is to obtain medical history and family background information. My husband is native american and he is very into his heritage, however there is this big piece missing, and I hope that we get that piece solved for him. :)